Know how I know I don't have an addiction?

Because it's too easy to quit.

Since my last post, I got really good with it again, then lost it, then back, and its been on-and-off.

Today, for example, if you knew what I ate you'd be disgusted.

Its weird. Nobody says I've actually gained too much back, but my the fat on my stomach and legs feels...firmer. Like all the empty spaces under my skin have filled up.

Anyways...it's always harder in the summer. I get so caught up in trying to convince people that I don't do it, that I end up not doing it. It's messed up.

I'll try harder from now on. Promise. There was this point yesterday when I was really gross about it(I'll spare you the nasty details, but let's just say there was blood) and I remember thinking, I'm okay with being this ugly right now if it means I won't be when other people can see me.

Encouragements:

-my pretty friends who want me to be pretty with them
-the beach
-getting tan and looking cute
-showing up those prissy anorexic chicks when school starts up back again(yes that is probably me just being jealous I know)
-running into kids who knew me when I lost the weight the first time forever ago
-liking myself again