If you've never...

..laid out all the food in your house and marveled at how pretty it was

..chugged half a two liter of diet coke and took a deep breathe before the plunge

..and weighed yourself to see the difference in what you weigh before and after you threw up...

..then you don't know what you're missing.

and if you've never

..stayed up all night just to exercise

..felt proud when you don't eat

..or have never cried yourself to sleep over the way you look

then we would have nothing to talk about.

lovey-doveys, eli

hardcore(and keeping score)

There's only been two occasions in the last couple of weeks that I didn't throw up what I ate:
A) once at 1am, hadn't eaten all day and stayed up waiting for mom to come home with food but was too exhausted to do it
B) threw up once, then ate more, but my stomach was completing freaking out and my insides were all on fire and I really tried but couldn't do it.

convinced my friend to become bulimic. I am going to hell.
but it sure is nice to have someone to do this with me.

we've got a competition going, kind of like anorexic week-at first I got scared she was beating me, but I overreacted. she is still so new and doesn't throw everything up. it takes me three minutes(not always, but most the time) but now I have motivation, ya know?

we're like the toxic friends who make your life that much better.

but I exercised for over an hour yesterday and I pulled something in my arm really badly. I can't even straighten it. grrrrrr. well, here's to diet coke.

Places I Have Thrown Up At Lately
-bathroom on knees
-in bushes in woods
-in room into bowel
-bathroom, standing up
-bushes at side of house
-trashcan by side of house
-into bag in room
-into bag by side of house
(I sure provide lots of entertainment for the neighbors)

lovey-doveys,
eli